The following is what someone else might call a short and wordy existential rant on something that need not take up so much head space. To that I say, welcome to my world. The questions I raise to myself, however, in this rant are ones I find worth thinking about. I thought you might as well. That is all. Take it as you will.
I am constantly wondering what it means when someone tells me that because one thing ends, “God must have something better” for me moving forward. It is an interesting theology that gives supposed comfort by the idea that God holds something “better” for one than the thing one leaves behind (for whatever reason, with whatever violence or solemnity). So American, even. Almost consumerist. Why does the concept of “better” entice me to trust further the Maker? Is He not my Maker? Is He not good, regardless of my perspective? Will the next be “better” for me because it makes me feel better? Would I still move forward out of obedience if someone says that what He actually holds next for me is “worse” than what I leave behind? Who determines the scale for what is better or what is worse? Am I not the axis of that spinning thought? What a dangerous place for me to be…
Is He not still good if I move forward and am in a far more miserable place than before? Could a perceived misery be, in fact, the better?
The point is, and always has been, that He is good. He is to be trusted. And I am to make decisions about my life while being true to the way He wired me and obedient to what He has told and shown me of His character and of His Kingdom. Not because He has promised to only lead me to a presupposed “better.”
My job is, for better or worse, to dig it up. Whatever the next “it” may be. He is the only one who tells me to take my shovel. And should He move me from one spot to another, it is not up to me or anyone else to assume that He leads me closer to the water — or the thing for which I am digging in the first place (because let’s not act like we always know why we’re digging). I do not deserve to dig up anything of consequence any more than anyone else who has been given a shovel.
My one job is just to dig where I am told.
And report what I have found.
Note: This is in my head every time someone gives me that obligatory statement. I promise not to give the dissertation EVERY time someone comforts me this way. But just know. It’s there. 🙂